just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
