he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
