Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
In America we eat man semen.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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