I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
