Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
3pm strippers are depressing
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
