MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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