Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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