Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
