so explain again why im purple
no
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
