i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
