i was born a porn star she said
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
