It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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