Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
