Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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