Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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