The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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