I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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