I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This is classic penis vs brain.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
