Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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