Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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