woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
