my phone needs a breathalizer
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
how does that bad decision feel?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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