Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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