you would pick up someone in the library
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize