I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
