and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
