I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
