Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She bit a glass in half.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
