Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
