all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
