I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize