K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
