small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
