Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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