there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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