You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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