Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
