my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
