party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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