Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
