Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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