you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
