Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize