she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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