dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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