party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
