his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
