dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
