omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
