All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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