Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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