I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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