Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
