do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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