Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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