; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I won the penis lottery.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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