Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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