I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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