And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
