I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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