So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
