Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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