ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
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I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
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I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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