A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
